Hemmed In

Feelings of success? confidence? certainty?

I struggled this morning while digging in my purse, wondering if I had accidentally left these three things back at the house. I had been warned of this day for a while...the first day of classes, when my conquering of Espana would quickly diminish to be only a figment of my imagination.

Normally, I will tell you I enjoy change. But most of the time I really don't. This morning I felt like a freshman all over again...looking for every class and trying to make sense of the claims of difficulty each professor put on their class, but of course they said it all in spanish this time.

I'm okay now. Really. I am so thankful for my laid back roommate who continued to remind me that though things like good grades and confidence in my studies seem to be such great things, being here right now is much greater and more rewarding. And of course what I needed most was to sit with the Lord and have him remind me through his Word of the fact he has already hemmed me in, before and behind. He knows my thoughts and feelings before I can even attempt to express them. A sweet friend of mine wrote me an email today about how she felt while studying abroad. She said it was one of the greatest times of dependancy when it came to her relationship with Christ.

This will probably be the same for me. He strengthens me, and I cannot begin to even think about trying to do this alone. Maybe it comes in the form of working really hard because he gives me the desire to learn, or for me, taking the focus off of myself and my uncertainties to realize there are almost 250 other extranjeros (foreigners) studying here and probably feeling the same way. He comforts me so I might comfort others. And for this I am so thankful!

My friend..I'm coming.